Everybody who has had an experience with a narcissistic personality type has learnt how they operate and will over time come to further realisations in figuring out why they did what they did, the motivation behind their words and actions, basically what their tactics were. There are many expressions within narcissistic behaviours, depending on their environment, what other aspects they carry within their personality types of the Enneagram, what their own deep inner beliefs are regarding human life and their role they believe they play in that. As always, when connected firmly to the original love of one’s true spirit and purpose of the soul’s journey, everybody, even those who have shaped into a narcissistic ego type, could – by their very origin – become who they truly are; all human inspiring, youthful, enthusiastic, life loving beings.    

But, when governed by an unhealthy state of ego- self, they become literally the opposite of their original selves (as everybody else does in their ego state). The artificial replacement of their spirit, the Higher Self,  has over time manifested itself into a stubborn narcissistic model of self-importance, a form of self-centrism, convincing the mind that the earth only revolves around them. They firmly believe to be the universal center and everybody else is below that. Rather than honouring human life in a sense of Oneness, their focus is solely focused on their ego-self. In order to achieve constant attention and feel dictatorship-like empowerment, people are needed to deliver constant admiration and obedience for their self-obsession. To ensure that those people are always at hand, specific mind games need to be played to achieve that. The usual tactics of a narcissist is to wheel people in with false promises and compliments to gain trust, find out where weaknesses are stored to then use strategies to lash out and attack the person’s fragility, when the shocked individual least expects it. This then generates more doubt and insecurity. People strong enough to see through these tactics will – for reasons of self-preservation – step aside to be free from such kind of toxic manipulative life destructive control mechanisms. Others, trying to regain approval of what they thought was a trustworthy connection, are desperately altering their behaviours to win back the attention of the narcissist, who – by the way – will blame the ‘victim’ for their sudden ‘out-of-character’ reaction.

From all personality types, the narcissist bully type is the most difficult one to come to some kind of self-realisation in a willingness to change, as they have now become too self-obsessed. Letting go of this mania could risk their self-glorification and this would mean giving up their imaginary crown. Upon exploring the deeper psyche of a narcissist, one will find an underlying attraction to the dark side, giving them a false sense of power, justifying their reckless actions. 

The accumulation of narcissistic actions among our society expands into narci-ssist leadership. The destructive tactics of a Nazi or far right leaders can be followed throughout history, all we have to do is open our eyes to see clearly! Extreme right wing dominance can be found in any kind of religion, culture or nation. 

Applied in politics, one must first create a state of inequality by indoctrinating hate against a ‘lower race’, Simultaneously strategies are applied, ensuring that the gap between poor and rich becomes larger. The blame for a country’s misfortune will later be shifted onto a different or ‘the lower race’, as this is the dictator’s way to express dislike against the human race in general. After all, they are the rulers of a ‘superior race’ and nobody must interfere with that kind of artificial glory. Such loose foundations – built to gain most of the people’s trust – are made of a string of false promises and lies, as well as fabrications of false accusations and conspiracies with the goal of ‘total victory’ through total elimination of a race, countries or nationalities.

Statements are made claiming that certain cultures are to blame for the country’s economic downfall and high unemployment rates by claiming that these people are ‘stealing our jobs’. Such repetitive tactics have been applied over centuries to confuse and divide the masses, in order to dismantle a state of Oneness, which holds the highest level of love consciousness.

A cunning way to guarantee austerity and racism to the point where hate is all there is, needed for the authoritarian regime’s power games to start a war. This will fire up those who – just like any far right politicians and dictators – generate enormous financial profit in their irresponsible reign by total abuse of power. After all they are not to blame for the poor state of their country but anybody else who doesn’t follow the demands of a totalitarian state. Their super-ego has convinced them by now that they can get away with anything, enhanced by their connections to a very dark world. In addition such power-driven individuals are desperate to win approval and be recognised by their army of people, making them blindly follow a highly destructive role-model.

We must be very clear that justifications to start wars are not what the masses are made to believe. It is never done to protect from the enemy or take out ‘the rotten and worthless’ in an essential cleansing process, but to take over land and countries for one’s own desperate need to possess and control absolutely everything and everybody, The ruthless ruler sees himself as the world’s only overlord and to achieve that, radicalism is the only way to get what they want. Every single warlord in the history of this planet has either convinced its people that a war was necessary to stop neighbouring countries from attacking ‘his’ people or it was an insider job from the start. After thousands of years of human life, the same old repetitive tactics have been applied and it seems not enough of us have learnt this very essential lesson yet of such pointless actions.

In the end nobody wins because once the persecuted and non-followers of a false ideology rise in resistance, misleaders lose their dictatorial powers and begin to fight each other. Even their closest allies will be provoked to the point where nothing is left to fight anymore. Eventually these destructive behaviours will have to backfire.

You will find that toxic energies left behind in war zones can be felt for decades to follow. When visiting one of the concentration camps for instance, one can’t help but notice the total silence which surrounds the area. The energies executed from dark minds have left their imprints by those who have not acted in God’s wish to create a prosperous world, but used his name in vain to justify lawless destructions and killings. It can be felt in the air and has sunk deeply into the earth, to the point where not even birds go anywhere near that space.

Can you imagine living in a world like this, run by some ruthless individuals and all because of showing obedience to somebody, determined to dominate humans and all life on earth by killing anything that is in the way of their requests and demands!?

Once again we must remember that every single one of us has the power to eliminate evil energies by connecting with our own divine self-empowering spirit, which is and forever will be eternal unconditional love. A high intelligence has put certain laws down to ensure that the good love we all carry from that can never be overpowered. It is down to us which power we believe and trust in; the power of total control or the blissful power of love.

Not too much focus should be given to negative forces and energies outside ourselves, other than knowing that they exist too and that we can do something about them. The reason they are around is due to the feeding ground available in our world, still containing more darkness than light. It is better to be aware of them than not, in a way to learn self-awareness and protection. One could compare it to road safety rules, we know that cars will kill us if we cross the road without looking, yet we don’t constantly think about how a car can injure us, once we know how to protect ourselves from that danger. When it comes to negative energies, we all have the choice of our free will and power of our spirit to eliminate all darkness in our world, including our own, without investing time and energy into fear or the fascination of mischievous spirits.

There are many negative influences trying to create a world of disharmony by subliminally trying to plant anti-humanitarian beliefs into our consciousness or keeping the ones we already have alive, be it by causing artificial problems, such as financial hardship, blaming nations, races or nationalities for the country’s own misfortune, misinformation and blatant lies.

The danger of remaining disconnected to our radiant spirit self by holding onto old issues, can be an attraction for such spirits to attach themselves to the person, often unable to detect such manipulative influences in its living space. Any reoccurring negative thoughts of self-doubt, judgement or criticising others out of constant anger, hate or envy, a need to upset or hurt somebody, constant exposure to abuse, demanding thoughts or a belief of superiority or unworthiness, major focus on material gain, are a sign that we need to take action to cleanse our suppressed emotions and conflicts; one to stay healthy and two to be free from negative influences.

These misguiding entities will go to wherever and whoever is allowing them to come close to. We must be very clear in our minds that negativity and destruction will not give us the power we are seeking, it is in fact a false power, taking us away from our far greater pure one. Only when we dare to reconnect with the purity of our immensely powerful spirit will we see the difference, it is only a thought away to do so. The moment we make that decision to return onto our path of reconnecting with the power of love, we will step by step be faced with everything we have accumulated, a perfect chance to deal with the undealt, transform and let go. A cover up of our shining light can attract mentioned entities, stemming from our own self-manipulating mind sets, operating from non-loving motives. The belief in love alone can make it harder for negative attachment to take place.

Once we make that decision, God, source, our guides, will be delighted to watch our spirit grow and be of great support and guidance, without interfering with our free will to support us on our self-empowering growth. It can sometimes feel like hard work, remaining stuck will be a lot harder though. God can not just wipe away all of our issues, without us undergoing our own efforts to do so, by showing willingness we gain great strength and fulfillment. We learn from the consequences of our actions, by making our own decisions we determine our path ahead.

The principle of God’s law is based on a great purpose and that is to give us all the freedom in the world to operate within that structure, the intent of which is always based on endless choices, who we wish to be and in that we can either recreate ourselves endlessly or do the opposite. Clearing conflicts, making peace, appreciation and opening up to unconditional love again, fine tunes us with the good energies we posses and in that moves us into vibrant light, pushing negativity of all sorts away. In fact, our instinct will become so sensitive that we find toxic energies unattractive and unbearable, because we can sense how it effects our now highly vibrational energy bodies.

In my work with people I have found that attachments to negative energies can also come from carrying obligational oaths from past lives, religious controlling belief systems, condemnation against God, anti-loving or negative vows. All you need to do is to clear those by saying you wish to let go of them and replace them with positive spirit reinforcing affirmations. Your guides will help you with this too by cutting old negative cords to self limiting and sabotaging belief systems on your journey to self-fulfillment. As the debris of life long horded untruths dissolve, your crown chakra develops a strong connection to universal information and wisdom downloads, you can use on a daily basis and to support others.

Once you are firmly walking your path again, it is advisable to ensure that you keep cleansing yourself emotionally, ask for the highest protection and keep your senses open to discern between authentic connections and the ones who are trying to divert you from your dedicated purpose by sabotaging your work and in general, making your life difficult. Free yourself from both, you are not unkind when allowing yourself to walk away from hindrance. Just like we cannot force somebody to change for the better, nobody can force us to fall back into the ditch we have just come out from, to then end up being pushed back into it. Everybody has free will and is welcome, once they have declared their commitment to support, we can support one another.

Distinguish constructive criticism and good advice from envious jealous remarks, designed to produce doubt and demotivation. Try not to be disheartened from hurtful remarks but instead develop a thick skin. Only you have your purpose and that must never be dismantled.

In case of dark spirit attacks, call on your guardian angel to remove the entity and whilst that is happening, visualise a huge bright shining light radiating outwards, blending the dark interference. This will free you and release you from being overpowered or taken over by unpleasant forces. Ensure on a daily basis to always visualise being surrounded within a golden dome of light.

Light is and will always be the stronger power, nothing is more powerful than God’s love, an unimaginable force. When we wish to connect with that light, know the difference between the energy of light beings and that of manipulative influences.

A light being is never demanding but always lovingly supportive, with only giving out information helpful on ones spiritual growth. Sometimes the answers come at a later stage or not as expected. The way of light spirit communication is never in interference with our free will, which means it is always based on our own decision making, always gentle, yet powerful.

The energy of a dark entity can sometimes be difficult to detect, on other occasions it is quite obvious. One way to ensure that what is trying to connect with you is coming from Source is by stating to your Guardian angel that you wish to only be connected to pure light beings. If it is not originating from Source, then you are not interested. Be very clear about that statement, without any second thoughts of a desire of spiritual self importance. Your guardian angel has no free will and therefore has to follow yours, which means that anything of darkness will be removed. Yet, it is important to still check with your heart. One clear indication that a lower spirit is trying to latch onto you is the absence of love, using the word alone does not mean it is vibrating from the energy of love. Further indications are when too much information is given to your questions or constant confirmation of you being the greatest, placing demands or too many future predictions, information about somebody else’s personal life or feelings of control.

Carnal sexual energy is a huge magnet for negative entities as the energy of love is missing during such intercourse. Our sacral chakra is the most powerful chakra of all, bearing the energy of co-creation. Once that part is contaminated with elements of basic sex, it can draw us towards more of that we actually wish to eliminate, leading to more casual sex, forming sexual addiction, accumulating more toxicity, effecting the mind, which has now formed blocks within our natural abundant selves. We can at any time break out of this vicious cycle by deciding to cleanse our precious sacral area and all other chakras, by aligning to pure love and making/creating love energy from that level of love consciousness. The intensity of this ecstatic experience will form such a ball of bright light that no lower frequency can remain attached and will therefore be blown away.

In a nutshell; if you understand the protective, self-empowering, loving energy of God’s wish for us, then you will also sense those high energy spirit beings, who are coming from that very same level of consciousness.

Always remember that we are light and to that we can return. Guaranteed that the rewards will be beyond our wildest dreams, as this is a reward within itself; after all we are connecting with a deep sense of wholesome meaningful well-being for the greater good, forever lasting, an exhilarated feeling to be alive!

Each one of us has the power to create a shift in consciousness, creating an expansion of the healing platform for our planet. We are divinely powerful enough to create the exact harmonious world again to which we were initially sent to live and love together. We can be much brighter and do things so much better than what we were conditioned to believe.

Resolving issues lightens up our spark and in time, turns into a bright flame of enlightenment, forming a protective shield around us. We become our divine purpose again and nothing can stop us on this exciting endeavor. We align with the instincts of our common sense, which in time teaches us to trust more and more in its clear guiding vision of the truth of our existence and in that all darkness will be washed away by waves from an ocean of our joined spirit love.

The Art of self love

Self-love is the ultimate key love energy that will lead us into deep inner peace, harmony and consequently the world around us because it represents the love of the self in all facets of its existences, born from the unconditional love God, Grace, Source has towards his creation of every living Being; an indescribable feeling of coming home to live in Oneness with the self, grateful at all times for the gift of ‘us’, firmly anchored in the I am consciousness. Living in gratitude with that can never lead to either a lack of self worth, a narcissistic false self-love belief system or a desperate desire to overpower another. Experiences, traumas and unfinished businesses will eventually crumble and be washed out of a man made lower consciousness belief system. This requires willingness for regular introspection into our cell memory to see if there is any emotional toxicity left there, needing to be released in order for our cells to be purified. In most cases we were taught to suppress issues and ‘just get on with life’. Despite all present awareness in today’s society with a vast number of healing techniques available, there still seems to be a lack of understanding how suppressed issues can leave damaging effects on the very organisms forming our bodies, our cells, leading to disturbances of the mind, leading into physical/emotional disease. Every time we leave a hurtful situation undealt with, we also shut another door to the healing and energising boundless love always available to us, resulting more and more in a shut down of our blissful selves. Disconnecting from love deprives our cells from our light life force essence.

Every time we go onto a journey of self-healing and clean our cells by addressing issues to understand ourselves better and situations or people in our lives, we take responsibility for our wellbeing and automatically expand our awareness. This in itself is a sign of self love, giving us a healthy feeling of empowerment because our soul knows that we are taking appropriate steps to raise onto a higher level of consciousness.

Once we begin to consciously comprehend how our actions effect others and decide to improve in an attempt to reach a healthy balance within our worthiness, we are on a steady path to a completion within the exhilarating feeling of self love. Nobody would feel the need to take advantage of the weaker ones, but instead offer support to those in need, competition would be a word of the past, instead we could work in cooperation together, rejoicing in the qualities of our fellow human friend, Instead of destroying our planet to enrich ourselves by depleting it of its resources given to us for free, we would use what we have to create meaningful abundance. Once our inner conflicts of unhappiness are resolved into self love, the need for conflict by controlling or be controlled is pointless; it will loose all its attraction of an artificial sense of power.

‘Easier said than done’ is often a thought that keeps us stuck in a comfort zone, ‘in the history of the human race war & greed have always been the case. This is what humans are like, they can not be trusted and are always out for their own gain. Humans deserve to be erased because of all the atrocities they have committed. Get out of the illusion and get real, war is normal, peace, harmony and self love are an illusion, this can never happen’. Guess what; by thinking those constant negative thoughts about ourselves and wishing for our race to be erased, we make exactly that happen. Of course one has to be realistic and look at what is going on in our world. But this is precisely the point; we have to become very realistic and understand that every single one of us has the power to make positive changes and what we are doing to create such negativity, in our world and the outer one. It starts with ourselves; ‘what is going on and what is it that I can do to make this change happen?’ It lies in the power of our free will.

Take introspection and clear all the unwanted and non-loving experiences; when did you begin to feel incomplete and unhappy with yourself, what are you doing to harm yourself or others? What are you doing because you feel so worthless? If you are an extrovert, you probably feel the need to overpower by demonstrating artificial greatness, constantly having to prove how much better you are or – if you are an introvert – it is expressed in a daily quiet self inflicting thinking pattern of never thriving into something big, so therefore remain small. Introverts often then express their deep unhappiness in an unaware passive aggressive way, yet equally as destructive.

In a healthy state of self-love and recognition, the extrovert uses his/her quality of divine power by leading and protecting people into a better way of living, giving them confidence, re-igniting their own unique power, bringing out the best in everybody to create big changes.

The more introvert personality type will use his incredible gift of diplomacy to resolve conflicts and create peace by solving misunderstandings. They remain detached from distractions, always returning back to their center of deep inner harmony and peace. Solutions are found for every problem, people in their presence feel no need to argue ‘to be right’.

Whatever personality type we belong to; in order to do what we do best and to stay connected to our soul and the creative path we have chosen, we need to equip ourselves with a thick skin to stand up for our truths.

Did you know that only 10 % of the world’s population actually live their purpose? Not living our purpose is poison for the soul, simply because we push away a big part of ourselves, our love of life. A disconnection to our soul means a disconnection to source, which leads to a lack of love, especially self love. Where there is a lack of self love, there must be some unhealthy replacement, forming toxicity within our bodies. In our desire to feel that completeness, we then look for substitutes, which can never replace the real thing. This is the moment where we must look in the places where incompleteness has taken false residence,; dare to remove the unreal to become that who you really are again! Transform every non self-loving thought, no matter where they stem from, into life lessons, expanding your wisdom, strengthening your will power. Return to the belief that love is the energy of creation, therefore it is truth.

Remaining stuck in such thought patterns of our conditioned minds and the unhealthy familiarity to live in a world of endless conflict, from which we think there is no way out, will lead to eventually quieten the voices of our souls, weakening our bodies. Giving up our divine power is like saying ‘NO’ to the best part of us. We can at all time liberate ourselves from constantly walking underneath the dark clouds of a limiting and sabotaging mind set.

If all great thinkers in the history of our existence had conformed to the restrictions of life limiting rules and regulations, we would still be living with a ‘medieval mentality mind set’. They themselves had to be strong enough to belief in their vision of bringing positive change about, often under danger of being publicly humiliated or eliminated or simply of not being taken seriously. Yet, their belief to aid with their purpose in the progress of their human fellow men into a world of justice, love and equality can only have come from a deep comprehension of the original idea of the creation and therefore love of the human race. These activists, visionaries and co-creators such as Jesus, Leonardo da Vinci, Nikla Tesla, Martin Luther Kind, Gandhi, must have had a healthy dose of self acceptance deriving from self love and the gratitude of their existence with its purpose attached to that; ingredients to produce essential strength, will power and persistence to pursue what they knew in their hearts would benefit towards a healthy evolvement of the human race!

By living a purposeful life, they were moving entire nations from one level of consciousness onto the next. It must have been a difficult task at times, with often unexpected outcomes, yet nothing would stop them to work for the greater good of all. What the soul will focus on when leaving its body is the meaningful quality of life it has created, loosing every bit of interest on all material accumulations.

Remember that none of us can do it alone. First we have to fall in love again with the idea of humanity, ourselves, a path which will inevitably lead back to a joyful inspiration, with an ever growing desire to work in the magnificence of what is often taken for granted down here.

Appreciation of the self, the wonders of life, the miracles of what love is capable of doing, will create a world full of abundance. When we stop to allow our ego to mislead us and use it instead to teach us the other side of our spectrum of endless possibilities, our shiny selves, the mis-leaders of this world will cease to exist because there is nothing left to lead down the wrong pathway. The energy we are using to transform all non-loving aspects of ourselves into deep appreciation of pure intents, will take away the feeding ground foundation for those whose souls are still life times away from wishing to evolve. We can not carry those on our shoulders as well but allow them to take appropriate steps to learn their lessons; how else will they be given an opportunity to open their eyes?!

Love yourself  for who you really are, all you are and all you have ever been, united as one. You are the miracle you have been waiting for!

If all of us were firmly connected to our spirit love energy, allowing that to shine through our uniqueness, then from afar the total sum of all the auric human energy fields seen in unity would look like a vibrational kaleidoscope.

Within the wealth of the human consciousness we are all part of a variety of personality types, which bring to the table of life everything we need, to make it brilliantly colourful.

Some of us are here to uplift each other’s spirit with their energetic youthful attitude to life, then there are the leaders amongst us, teachers, helpers and carers, peacemakers, the trustworthy community builders, able to engage others, the expressive artists, the motivators, the visionaries and pioneers. It could not be more perfect in its combination of different personality types, holding the individual wisdom through the bond of consciousness, every one of us carries.

The great thing is that – as long as we believe in love and show a willingness to transform negative experiences into positive ones, we compliment each other with the characters of our personality types together with our experiences and wisdom from life lessons learnt. We are part of an ever evolving experience within all of life’s experience consciousness. As long as love flows, positive manifestations happen in the most effortless way we can possibly imagine.

Yet, if we block our ability to transform and hold onto a host of upsetting emotions and memories, we begin to exclude love; what does not contain love must contain ego. Ego comes from the ancient Greek meaning ‘I am’ or ‘I exist’; translated in relation to our human mind, it means awareness of the self. A low percentage of ego acts as a mediator between our conscious and subconscious mind, something we need to manoeuvre us through this physical life. In other words, a teacher of self awareness, showing us where issues need resolving to make improvements in our desire to return to the Oneness of love.

Some call it life intelligence, our own vessel consciousness, containing all of our experiences, lessons, personality types and own unresolved ego, with the willingness to learn from that. The knowledge combination of all of that is to master a human approach to others based on their level of understanding in order to form a non-conflict bond of human acceptance, with the absence of forceful mind control.

An overload of ego represents a total focus on the self without taking anybody else into consideration, with dire consequences; this is always destructive and can only be repaired when realisation hits the mind.

Us humans are originally created to care and act for the Greater Good of all, including the self. A drifting towards an ego self for ones sole gain purpose, where in the end competition and conflict become the norm, was never intended to happen. Deep down we really know that we are all connected and are here to live in harmony. Operating mainly from our true personality type make-up, as much as possible, makes us joint divine co-creators, dedicated to follow our inner heart calling, that knows how to manifest easily; with patience and perseverance and with the certainty that something good will come from our actions. Ego driven projects instead are control based, carried out under constant pressure of having to prove oneself, with the needy impatience of wanting to see quick profitable personal or/and material results. Patience becomes a missing attribute with the absence of love.

The strongest undealt emotions that lead to an ego focused self, are rage and terror. Those emotions are a build up of a sum total of many frustrating, powerless, sad moments, times when we felt rejected, unaccepted and used. We are not always aware of underlying rage or terror being present in our subconsciousness, especially if we belong to the more introvert types of people. The extroverts amongst us usually express these emotions more visibly, their presence is therefore more easily detectable.

In order to keep these kind of emotions under control, within the contingency of our lives, we build survival and unhealthy behavioural constructions around them, coupled with negative belief systems and vows, making us act not from our true personality type self anymore, but an artificial one. The development of this false identity, as many call it, progressively moves us into a false protective zone, leading to a disconnection of our real personality type identity.

One of the reasons we want to protect our true core with the ego from the hurt which was done to us previously, is a way to ensure it from never happening again. The risk we take if we don’t let go of an overload of our cells with the unwanted is an accumulation of more artificial replacements onto the self, dimming our natural attraction. This then leads to deep feelings of dissatisfaction and non-acceptance with the self and life, attracting more of what we actually want to avoid. The inner disharmony is acting like a magnet to the outside world to the point where we feel lost and disorientated. For some another reason to hold onto ego is a deep conviction to be superior above everybody else, a belief to be of a supremacy race, in a world of an obedient lower human race. This can stem from trauma, or this kind of belief system was simply there from the start.

An overload of ego and an accumulation of a false identity structure deprives us from energy and over the years, makes us feel heavy and tired. Compare it to carrying more and more clutter attached to you and then wondering why every step of the way it becomes harder and more exhausting to keep moving.

Our thoughts, which are constant energy waves transformed or translated from existing stored emotions within our cells based on the perception of our past memories, effect everything around us. They are a product of how we feel inside and create themselves from either our loved based or ego driven identity. We have to grasp the concept of the power our thoughts have in our world and how they manifest themselves. We can positively change our world by changing our thoughts. Whether we wish to address our thoughts first to change the way we feel or release the unpleasant emotions to lovingly alter our thoughts or do a combination of the two, depends on our individual choice. Negative thoughts create toxic acidic energy levels in our cells; keeping such thoughts alive is comparable to being on a slow suicide mission.

Imagine owning the most shiny vibrant faceted diamond and somebody trying to damage it. Naturally we would try to protect it and put it in a safe place, until the situation has cleared and the perpetrator has gone. During that time we are able to admire our diamond every now and then, to then place it back in its safety comfort zone. Eventually, when the air is clear, we can polish and restore the damage, find the best spot for it so it can shine away, even brighter than before. Our appreciation of the value of our precious diamond should grow even more after the trouble we had.

Now imagine if we decided to keep that diamond locked in that safe comfort zone forever, pushing it more and more into the background with layers of possessions in front of it, to the point where we forget the diamond ever existed in the first place. We never bother to take it back out anymore because of an old fear that the past experience could repeat itself, although we know that this can never happen again; we also won’t allow anybody to come near our diamond, to avoid exposure to similar damage again. Keeping it locked means a disadvantage in every way; its natural shine would eventually be completely secluded within the confines of old walls we built to protect from the harm of long gone perpetrators. Instead of learning the lesson, taking the armor and walls down to polish the diamond and give it a brand new shine, we keep it hidden away and are then forced to install artificial lights, trying to replace its natural pure faceted light reflections to somehow give it some kind of radiance. Yet, artificial light only shines when we switch it on, the light bulb can break, artificial light only covers a limited area.

The beautiful rays of a naturally shining diamond are like the sun; its radiance is capable to travel for great distances, reigniting/rejuvenating anything that is allowing it in. Hesitant resistance can eventually break open by gradually getting accustomed to the warmth of light. Anything that cannot withstand that glowing power, will dissolve in the loss of its controlling power.

Another reason why we also construct protective armors around the building blocks of our dormant rage or terror is to protect others from getting harmed by it, in case we loose control over ourselves when these emotions are triggered. Unless we tackle what has become the foundation of a false identity, more of the unhealthy construction will be added to its scaffold, blocking out our light, to the point where we become so used to it that we loose track of who we really are and then end up believing that the false identity is really us.

All of us are perfect within our imperfections. The lessons we learn are obstacles dressed up as blessings in disguise as we travel along our soul journey. The stopping stations on our road have most likely been there before and will keep reappearing until we have mastered another lesson on our growth in an ever evolving source of high consciousness. Our destiny is not to keep repeating the same old lessons to keep making the same mistakes in denial of its teachings, but instead to master them. This is what ‘perfect within our imperfections’ means. Love as our driving force will show us the way, ego shows us where improvements can be made from old outworn comfort zone habitual behaviours, keeping us stuck. It will make us fall again and again, until we finally are able to decide from the choice of our free will to follow and trust our light again.

We can have a combination of different personality types. In total there are 9, we usually have 2 major ones forming our own unique one, which is then based on our experiences alongside with the life wisdom we possess.

Here are some brief examples of how we can completely turn into the opposite of who we really are, if issues are left unaddressed!

For instance the personality type of a healthy teacher is that of fairness and ethics, with an understanding of a higher purpose, They are natural perfectionists, a true inspiration for humanity with a desire to bring the truth across by bringing out the truth in others. When in a false protective unhealthy state of ego, those truth seekers become rigid and judgmental perfectionists, needing to be always right, at all cost. Their strongest fears of humiliation and condemnation are now controlling them.

The leader personality type in his healthy state is incredibly charismatic, magnanimous, strong and able to stand up for what their higher visions are, able to self surrender to a higher authority. They are the historic game changers, leaving heroic remarkable positive shifts behind in a world stuck in old habits. In an unhealthy state they become dangerous risk takers, wheeler dealers with a need to dominate to the point of becoming criminals. Their strongest fear of showing weakness is now controlling them, making them and everybody else believe they always have to be at war.

The peacemaker in a healthy state radiates deep inner peace and serenity, they are the mediators amongst us, creating harmony and a flow in communication, able to connect on a deep spiritual level. In a suppressive angry state they act out their anger in a passive aggressive way as they are desperately trying to hold onto their natural state of serenity. In their dissociation to conflict, their anger expresses itself in a hidden undetectable manor to the point where it is incredibly difficult to see through the destructive actions of their ego; they usually have no idea of the damage they are causing and totally oblivious in their constant denial of admitting to the unpleasant realities of life. Their biggest fear therefore is confrontation and rage. In their denial, they passively act exactly that out what they fear the most, then look at the damage, without taking any responsibility.

The Helper in a healthy state is the most compassionate, kindest empathetic and passionate personality type one can find, able to see good in others, trying to bring the best out in everybody. Nurturing and giving in every way. In an unhealthy state those devoted to service become ‘people-pleaser’, using the word love to control and manipulate others, instead of allowing it to flow naturally in its original state of oneness with themselves. Their suppressed aggression results in criticising others to make them look inferior. Their biggest fear is to care for their own needs as they need to feel needed by over-helping everybody around them. Helping others then becomes an unhealthy drive to boost the self for the service given.

The enthusiast in a healthy state is full of the joy and fun for life, imaginative, spontaneous, light-hearted, curious, generous, multitalented, easily accomplished achievers. In an unhealthy state they need constant stimuli, are hyperactive, totally self-centered to the point of narcissism, frantic, unreliable and self destructive. They need more and more distraction to avoid facing their terror, pain and fears, becoming highly abusive on their ego trip to get what it is they want.

These are just some examples to demonstrate how much a healthy personality type can mutate into the complete opposite of the self. Understanding this part of our spirit personality self altered into the ego mind control body, gives us hope that much can be done for humanity to transform, just like butterflies do. Every one of us has the choice to stop procrastination and start the compassionate internal balancing act of negative cleansing now. The more we know about us, who we are and how our minds function, the more can be done to remove who we are not! Lessons learnt will expand our knowledge, raise our emotional intelligence regarding life and us. Our character becomes ever more faceted and by doing so we become the best version of ourselves, with all our little imperfections. This makes us so unique, part of live’s endless varieties.

Not everybody is ready to open up to love and detect their own ego behaviour. Somehow we have to be able to handle those eager to cling onto their ego, with hopefully the least possible conflict or harm to ourselves.

The more people that are operating from their ego selves, the harder, more dense and complicated life becomes, as actions are mainly taken from ego patterns, leading to an accumulation of frustration and feelings of pointlessness, in which we see no purpose. Our goal can be to constantly clear our minds from the hateful thoughts and intents, angry outbreaks or a chronic state of anxiety. Behind those walls we will always find that the long lost forgotten diamond was never gone, it just had to be unburied and brought back to light.

The light of love is infinitely patient and knows that the actions born from pure intent will always lead to something beneficial for everybody, without any harm. Those who need to find their own shadow can do so to then decide to flood that part with love too. It will happen in their own time, without us allowing them to be a hindrance  on our path.

Being anchored in pure self-love and the original idea of humanity does not mean that we can not speak up in truth or react in a revolutionary style when witnessing injustice to our fellow brothers and sisters. Love protects us and gives us a sensory gut feeling of threat or fear in times of danger or an unsafe situation. It gives us the strength to express empathy or deep sadness when going through bereavement or hurt.

The reactions we get when anchored in the power of love are different to those stuck in egotistic anti-humanitarian hatred.

It is the holding onto the belief that – in order to be protected and super powerful we have to stick to chronic anger, hate and abuse from a fear of never being recognised otherwise. These are toxic ego separation wall constructions.

Also know that spirit can only really deeply connect with us when we send love to our spirit guides and angels. It is obvious; our spirit connection is like inviting our best friends back into our home, so we join and cooperate together. Our love towards our spirit acts like a light gateway for spirit guides to access the denser planes in their desire to assist us, without influencing the decision making of our free will. As we allow our cells to transform in dropping love blocking barriers, many doors will open, our manifestation work with spirit will take on new dimensions and be done more swiftly and effortlessly around our world. When we lay our armors down, peace begins to stream through the gaps of our rigid mind sets, this is when the war zones of our world will cease to exist.

One very important aspect I learnt from my father, throughout life and especially during the time of his illness was his ability to immediately and completely accept reality as it is. He was obviously very shocked when doctors told him he had jaundice, his blood sugar was through the roof (over 300) and worried about what else they would find in the coming week. It didn’t take him long to get over that initial shock and the next day he had already gone into his usual energy of acceptance as to how the present reality was unfolding in a state of complete uncertainty.

Everybody took it differently; the combination of the variety of our energies participating in this experience somehow really helped. It felt like a support network. One thing was for sure, right from the start; we were all in this together. We shared the same intent; assist my dad as best as we could, we each played our part in this situation, with me taking on the role in finding the right treatment, a natural development.

In the first 3 days before we knew the diagnose was pancreatic cancer, it felt like somebody had literally taken the floor from underneath my feet; deep down I was very concerned, my gut or instinct knew that this was something very serious but my head was trying to convince me that it hopefully was nothing major to worry about and soon we would be told that everything was just a passing illness. On the 3rd day I was in town with my friend, discussing all possibilities what it could be, then – on my way home, my dad called to tell me that they found a malignant tumour. He was laughing whilst telling me, that was to lift the heaviness of the scary reality off my shoulders.

All the way home I just cried; to my surprise I couldn’t have cared less in showing vulnerability in front of all these people passing me by! As I was sobbing my one thought was to travel back to Germany and do all I could to assist my mum and dad in this dire situation. That gave me the strength to cope and a purpose, it gave me a sense of empowerment, there was no time for playing the victim. In fact, nobody in our family or anybody who supported us went into a victim hood state of mind, there was no time for that, it didn’t even cross our minds.  Today I know that one of the main reasons for the astounding healing results we were presented with 9 months later was by recognising the facts exactly as they were, in particular by my dad.  In the meantime I took action to support my dad as best as possible, whilst looking for a suitable treatment for him, showing appreciation to all consultants and medical staff involved, no matter whether they were stubborn conventional or holistically more open minded.

My brother Markus was helping enormously in opening up my mind to finally grasp the fact that our negative or traumatic experiences are the root cause for an illness, in this case cancer, no matter how long ago that could have been. Until that time in September 2004 I believed that nutrition and exercise, trying to have a joyful life, were sufficient to maintain a healthy body. Constant stress of course, I knew, was another factor. This is surely the case, we are alkaline beings and taking in too much acidic foods or drinks cause illness by effecting our immune system, as does stress. Yet I believed that once a painful situation was suppressed, it was gone . There is much more to that, I slowly began to understand and finally had to open my mind to the reality of other possibilities; the connection between old suppressed trauma and an illness.

In the weeks to come – as my dad was going through the required examinations – I was reading all I could about pancreatic cancer, the root causes, what anthroposophical hospitals had to offer, emailing their doctors, going through a variety of treatment options, printing out reports written by holistic doctors for my dad to read in hospital, looking into cancer boosting nutrients… the list was endless. I wanted to know exactly what we were dealing with, what to expect in the worst case scenario, listen to various opinions, whilst being discerning at the same time, allowing my dad to make his own choices. In all of that I knew instinctively one thing right from the start; we had to use a homeopathic treatment; it was the only powerful holistic treatment I knew at the time, which would treat the person in its individuality with its specific issues. No matter how much I tried to sometimes brush that possibility aside, it kept coming back into my consciousness. All the time we were weighing out options; we had to accept the entire situation presented to us and within that every single moment that brought along different doctors with different ideas with regards to the right treatment.

One highly recognised professor for pancreatic cancer for instance suggested a 4 week intense radio- and chemotherapy, after an unsuccessful Whipple op, to reduce the tumour and then operate again. Had we blindly followed that advice, my dad would not be alive today, as was later confirmed by another 3 x top consultant, also trained in Homeopathy. It would have weakened my dad’s immune system considerably, with a high risk the cancer returning with a vengeance.

Everybody has to feel what is right for them and if this would be the right option for somebody else going through the same, then this is what they should be trying, until they find that another treatment could work more efficiently.

In May 2005 a TV crew came to interview my dad for a scientific documentary on Homeopathy, it was the day before his next CT scan was due. Since he had left the hospital all he applied was a Homeopathic cancer treatment. To the crew’s surprise they found my dad climbing around the roof top of his loft conversion, alongside with carpenters and builders. He had decided to finish his projects before departing onto the other side! After an entire day of filming at some point my dad asked the director of the programme: “What will you do if my examination tomorrow shows that the cancer has spread. You can’t broadcast my case as an example, if it hasn’t worked”. The director replied ‘lets cross that bridge when we get to it’. Even then my dad remained totally realistic, bracing himself for what was going on right in that moment with its possible outcomes.

During those 9 months we were also faced with skeptical medical professionals who ridiculed my suggestion of using Homeopathy, alongside with a couple of people denying it was cancer. Once my dad was given the all clear, those same people were also the once denying it was cancer in the first place, unable to open their minds to the reality of what we did to gain control over an illness, with a less than 3 % survival chance. Their minds remained closed. Everybody else was absolutely stunned, including those consultants open to holistic therapies.

What I am trying to say with this story of acceptance and non-denial is that we can not expect to come out of a ‘haunting’ or ‘dreadful’ situation, possibly leading to a negative outcome, if we choose to close our eyes to the sheer facts staring us in the face. If we do, then we make ourselves weak by living in an illusion of what is not. Living in that illusion makes us vulnerable and powerless, allowing controlling forces, be it our own ego or that of people only interested in their own gain and power, to use us for their mind games, draining our energies for a future that is none.

Every time I tried to live in denial, I paid for it. Yet, if we truly care we will always somehow find a way out of a vicious circle, especially when we comprehend the potential of our own divine power to do so; being in the very present of reality of the now is key.

If we connect with all the courage we can possibly master and clear all the fear that leads us to blindness of the present moment now, clouded by a misleading belief that everything is not as it is, we can take every appropriate action to break out of the very downward leading spiral we got ourselves into. Denial is a dangerous endeavor, it actually leads to more fear, a deterioration of the situation and in the end capitulation.

The Universe can only assist and connect with us when we become very honest with ourselves and wish to see the facts with honesty and clarity. When we say; what have I done to get myself into this mess and what can I contribute to pull myself out of it to bring healing into this very situation, we will open those famous doors of all possibilities, allowing the most powerful healing forces to enter through our consciousness, lifting us out into the reality of ourselves. What we can say and do for our individual private improvement, we can also do for a global crisis.

Just like in my dad’s situation; we are all in this together, we must remain discerning and focus on the truth of the reality unfolding itself in front of us and then take appropriate steps to bring about healing into unhealthy situations! We are the root cause with our thoughtless actions. Turning a blind eye will make us and the world vulnerable and add to the destructive powers to those only working for their own gain, careless to our wonderful world. Imagine if we had always acted from integrity, appreciation, acceptance and non denial, from the power of love and the greatest care for our world, we would not be finding ourselves in a climate crisis or any political conflicts or wars.

We would in fact be having the time of our lives.

So far we have been kept in a state of mind control and numbness, it was easier to mislead us that way. Now we find ourselves at 5 to noon, the outcome is as clear as day if we continue moving in that state of denial.

When we take action we are empowered! This will diminish the ones walking and working from their own dark shadows, using us as their puppets!

Even when you are scared to death seeing reality as it is; go through that fear and do whatever you can to bring stability back to this world, which is now reflecting and showing the signs of centuries of unstable behaviour on a huge visible scale.

We do not know what the outcome will be but if we never try we will never know!

Life on earth is not always easy, in fact, it is plastered with all sorts of painful experiences, ranging from feeling unwanted or unloved during childhood, being bullied at school, having the first heartbreak, discovering betrayal, being constantly criticised by people who – in fact – are supposed to love us, being conditioned by society that – unless we look or dress a certain way – there is no way anybody would love us for simply the way we are.

The results of such upbringings can lead us away from the most natural and powerful energy which is available to us, the energy of unconditional love, an energy which is the basic foundation of our creation in the first place.

It is through ‘love making’ (or call it LOVE ENERGY CREATION) that we create children together. Two people come together from unconditional love for each other to unite and …. create the most intense form of love energy, with or without the intent to receive a child afterwards.

Yet, if we have experienced moments of non-love or times where we did love with all our hearts but ended up being deeply hurt, pain takes over. That pain can be so strong that it literally feels unmanageable, making it often impossible to function and go about our daily lives. Fear replaces where previously there was none, spreading into many areas of our bodies and therefore lives. It is simply the result of the inability to cope with pain, nobody has taught us how to. Where there is no love, material values become important. We begin to believe that material gains and possessions, artificial looks and behaviours give us a replacement for true love. They become a control mechanism, which is much easier to master… so we believe.

The truth is; all of the material replacements of non-love are highly destructive. Often scars can be buried so deep that we don’t even realise how they are still affecting us today.

Addictions are another sign of a non loving relationship towards the self, life or people; signs of disconnections.

There are also many who use the word love as a pretence to work from that level of energy in order to control people around them. They will keep convincing themselves that they are working for the right reasons; after all they are the ultimate loving being. Instead, they are using this most precious energy of love too easily; to manipulate and blind, for their own specific needs. This in fact is not an all encompassing form of an unconditional free spirit love, but a controlled version of it.

It is down to the individual to show their desire, will and persistence to constantly remove any obstacles of non loving behaviours in respect to their fellow men and women, so that they wont ever be effected by past memories, which have left great damage.

The growth of my father’s malignant tumour was from a time when he was a little boy, witnessing physical abuse from his father towards his mother. It created a deep believe of fear inside his pancreas and moved him into a world where love could simply not be trusted. In fact, violence was a better way to gain control over love, it was the ‘right’ way to gain strength, also ensuring that one would never be controlled by the other gender or partner. Why would you use honour, respect and devotion? These can only make you fragile and vulnerable.

My grandparents themselves were brought up in that way, during a time where wars were the norm. A world full of destruction and devastation. That world then became the real world based on a belief system where unconditional love was a weakness. Control, shouting and abuse became the norm.

Every time we experience a negative emotion, our bodies react by releasing acidic fluids. We are alkaline beings and in order for our bodies to keep us alive, it has to send precious alkaline substances to balance out the acidic reaction. This is destructive to our cells, it can only therefore also be destructive to ourselves and inevitably to others. Let’s not forget that we are all connected, like the cells in our bodies.

There are many techniques and methods available today which give us a life transformational experience to work our way through these negative emotions so we can finally fall back into a wholeness and completeness of our own universal love. The astounding thing is that, when we do this and remove ourselves from an old consciousness of a non loving belief system, we raise within that very consciousness allowing us to more and more use love from the unconditional freedom it is supposed to be.

To shut down to all those possibilities is not only destructive to the self but it will be destructive to the world around us.

My father was convinced throughout his entire life that he was indestructible and his way of treating his wife was justified. How this would effect us children or our future was not relevant at the time. Too many people are like this, they have turned away from all the true beauty life has to offer towards replacements which are of the material gain of the earth, selfishness rules! In that is no value or any purpose whatsoever. We all have a chance to deal with this build up fear of love now and do not have to wait until the end of a lifetime or a severe illness. What a waste that is of living a life full of beautiful possibilities and treasures.

There is danger of becoming so used to non love, which can lead into depression, that it seems like a ‘good protective companion’. Embracing light and love is almost scary and too much to bare, it has become too unfamiliar. Those are lies of the mind and excuses of self denial. They can be eliminated, if only we desire so.

Know that it is never too late, we all have a choice of improvement now. We have to start with ourselves and adapt a healthy self loving relationship, a loving acceptance and appreciation of the original idea of the human race again. We cannot change the past hurts but transform them into something positive. We can teach others what we learnt from our traumas, betrayals and destructive behaviours for instance.

We have a purpose and that is certainly never a damaging one. We are loving beings who deep down wish to create more beauty, more health, more benefits.

What a better way to break an earthly system which has actually led us to loose faith in everything, wrapping us into even more darkness.

The dire consequences are the results of what we are experiencing today; our countries are run by leaders who come from the sole intent of material concepts made up of greed, reckless behaviour into war consciousness production in order to gain more and more material.

It is a mass falling away from our divine loving self, it is a falling into a neverending void.

The message from me to you is to use my father’s example to think about a life of love, about positive change, so we can start to manifest a fire of passion and compassion for one another.

No matter where you are in your life right now; keep the thought of love alive and it will become reality once again.

Anybody who has been given the diagnosis of cancer, or who has known somebody in their family or amongst friends who now has to face this terrible disease, finds themselves in a state of disbelief or shock. The first big question which arises is ‘Why me? Why did I/he/she get it, amongst all those other millions of people’

It almost feels like standing in front of a huge wall, behind it a pile of confusion.

Memories appear from moments in life in a search to find out what might have caused it. Then regret, guilt, a huge sense of failure and often a helplessness and powerlessness comes in an overwhelming flood of emotion.

Some people immediately decide that – no matter what – they will conquer this horrific disease, no doubt about it. Still, in most patients there remains a deep fear of the unknown.

It really feels like the entire world has been turned upside down. Suddenly people remember all the things they should have done but never got round to doing and time, which seemed so endless, suddenly feels like it’s running away from them.

All the things which before seemed dramatic or horrendous are now devoid of meaning, because health is in fact the most important thing and without it we have a much more difficult path to walk.

In our case it was my father who became sick. As you might have read in the previous chapters, I knew in my gut what the right treatment for him would be. Yet what I wish to talk about today is how to approach the varying input and opinions of the professionals, family and friends you may be dealing with along the way.

It is very important to understand that everybody is doing the very best they can to be of any assistance. Some do it from a place of compassion and care, others to serve their own egos, only interested in being recognised as ‘the one who healed the cancer patient’.

Whatever or wherever somebody’s approach is, see them with the knowing that they are doing the best they can. You don’t have to follow their advice if it doesn’t feel right. Develop a sensitivity to help you distinguish the ones with a genuine desire to assist from the ones who are purely following a traditional professional path without much care. Accept each one of them equally, even if they sometimes make you angry, or make you feel like just another statistic. This will give you strength.

In our case we were dealing with health professionals and representatives for companies that produce natural remedies who were convinced that their Vitamin supplements would cure my father. Although it was very interesting to listen to their talks, deep down I knew that just by applying some vitamins, my dad’s cancer would definitely not go. Everybody is an individual case and everyone’s case has to be taken individually.

Then there was the Professor from the top Cancer Clinic in Heidelberg who was convinced that my dad’s tumour would definitely be beaten if he was bombarded with Chemo- and Radiotherapy for 4 weeks, only to then be operated on again later.

Every bit of my being was screaming NO, and my dad and brothers felt the same. To this day I don’t doubt that it would have killed him.

(Should you however opt for that kind of treatment, then this is your choice and you have to follow it)

Then there were neighbours and friends who were telling me of their own experiences. This was most helpful and certainly a guide and support in what I/we thought we would have to possibly do anyway.

Express to yourself an intention to find the right people who know what they are doing, and don’t be shy to speak up.

Care and consideration are very important. Everybody I know was incredibly patient and supportive. For a few weeks I was totally withdrawn, doing a lot of research. There were many people I just couldn’t face and I really didn’t feel like doing anything fun. My friend Tanja, who is a nurse at the hospital where my dad was, gave me a very precious piece of advice; she told me to go for a walk or do something that gives me pleasure because otherwise the stress would make me too weak to look after my dad.

This scary and challenging time is also a time of big awakening, of many realisations and a lesson to every single person involved.

Be patient, understanding and know that any of these things can happen to any of us. So use this opportunity to also look within. Pointing the finger is of no use; I have worked with so many seriously ill people who were loving and looked healthy. It is the soul which is speaking through the body and sometimes all we need to do is develop the ear to hear it properly.

This chapter describes how the Universe already began to connect me with people years before my dad’s diagnose, people who then became close friends and who played a vital role on his healing journey. Know that this is not just about my dad, or about who is the no. 1 healer, or taking all the credit! It goes far beyond that! All of this took place to raise awareness in so many ways; to share all of the experience in order to contribute to a world of togetherness in collaboration rather than competition. It is time to overcome stagnant belief systems! There are many solutions out there to regain health again, perfectly adapted to our individual needs. We are more than just machines, we are capable of achieving so much more, but not if we remain stuck in the misguidance of an ego mind control system.

My friend Uli was introduced to me in 2000 by some friends whose children went to the same nursery. We are both from Germany and sometimes found it hard to get used to the NHS system over here. Whenever there was a health issue we ended up consulting each other. Often I would mention Homeopathy because it had already worked on my daughter and son. Jokingly we said; “we have to become self sufficient and start to be our own healers”.
I would often tell Uli that she’d make an excellent Homeopath, which has turned out to be the case.

Finally, 3 years later, Uli decided to start a course in Eastbourne to become one.  2 weeks into my dad’s illness the Homeopathic College was teaching “A Homeopathic approach to cancer’, developed by Dr. Ramakrishnan. Uli  first informed my then husband William of this method, who passed the information on to me;. This is what I had been searching for, here the Universe was bringing it to us/me through different channels, it later turned out to be one of the major key factors in successfully healing the tumour.

In 2003 I was visiting my parents in Germany. One night a friend took me out to a local nightclub where I saw a young tall man looking distressed. “His girlfriend broke up with him” I thought “How could I possibly talk to him without giving out a false impression?!”

There was an internal battle going on between wishing to talk to him, give him some comfort, not wanting to force my support on him and thinking to just leave the whole thing because it was none of my business.

After a while this young man decided to go home and started to walk towards the exit. An inner voice was urging me to follow him. My mind kept saying ‘No’ to it all. “if its meant to be I will see him again”! “What if you won’t see him again? You live in the UK. Go and talk to him, he needs comfort. You will never forgive yourself if anything happened to him and you know you could have done something just by showing some care”, responded my inner voice to the doubtful mind talk. Unsure as to who to listen to,  I suddenly felt as if a gentle hand was prompting me to move towards the exit too, until I eventually stood right behind him hearing myself say: “where are you going?” “Home” he replied “have to get up early for work. I also have to look after my dog.  My girlfriend left me, so its me looking after him. My name is Jens by the way”. “Oh, ok” I replied “I’m visiting my parents and live in  England with my husband and children. So sorry your girlfriend left you. I better let you get home then.” Jens was thrilled to hear we lived in England; he told me how much he loved the UK. We exchanged email addresses and over the coming weeks he was able to confide in me. Somehow I managed to convince him not to shut himself off from other women because somewhere out there was the right one for him. Shortly after our conversation he met Tanja, his future wife, an A&E nurse in the hospital where my dad was going to be treated 2 years later.

Tanja was an incredible support right from the start, together with Jens; she organised meetings with consultants and was constantly there to give me advise on any medical questions I had.

In February 2004, the year my dad was diagnosed, I was back in Germany. This time I went out for a drink with my dear friend Christine. We met when we were 16 years old at our first job. That night we happened to stand right next to a tall beautiful lady; Conny had just ended a very toxic relationship and was out for the first time after weeks of staying indoors. We talked as if we had known each other forever. When it was time to head home, I asked Conny for her number. Again I didn’t want to come across as being pushy or intrusive; the same inner voice told me to stay in touch. “It can’t be intrusive just to check on her wellbeing, after all, we got on so well” I thought to myself. 

Next time we met, Conny introduced me to her friend Sabine who told us all about her mother-in-law who was suffering from pancreatic cancer. Sabine’s brother-in-law was an Internist; a physician specialised in internal medicine. Interestingly he was also trained in complimentary medicine! She explained to us that her mother-in-law refused any treatment and it was her strong will alone that was keeping her alive, way beyond her predicted life expectancy. Unfortunately she would not even allow her son to apply any kind of treatment on her. The mother-in-law died a few months after our meeting.

I listened with great interest, and it was 5 months later when I knew I had to get in touch with Sabine to ask for her brother-in-law’s phone number to discuss my dad’s case with him.

As mentioned before, knowing how my dad’s mind operated, I needed to find a qualified medical doctor who was also specialised in holistic treatments, somebody my dad would respect to take on board his expert advice. The Universe knew my dad too and had provided me beforehand with the relevant people, able to connect me exactly with these kinds of specialists!

Finally I got hold of Sabine’s brother-in-law. He recommended one of Germany’s top consultants,  specialised in 3 medical fields, plus he is a trained Homeopath, running his own clinic in the south of Germany.  Dr. Uwe Friedrich was  a very important figure in this whole experience; my dad respected him and therefore followed his advice not to opt for a Chemotherapy treatment but rather to follow a holistic programme. Dr. Friedrich was also the one who applied the first homeopathic treatment and pointed out that my dad’s lifestyle was what had made him sick; changing it for a healthier one would increase his chances of recovery.

2 weeks after my dad had stayed at Dr. Friedrich’s clinic, he developed jaundice again and needed to return home to be hospitalised for another 3 weeks.  In order to continue the homeopathic treatment, Dr. Friedrich advised my dad to see one of his highly respected colleagues,  Dr. Andreas Wacker; he was the one my dad frequently visited and who applied the Plussing Method

Another important incident worth mentioning is the story of my brother, Markus. His wife Margit was diagnosed with a deadly form of Leukemia in 1990, before they were married. She spent 1 year in hospital, during which she had to go through an endless list of medical and Chemotherapy treatments, operations, until one day Markus said that he had enough of Margit being used as a guinea pig and signed a form for her to be released. He searched and found an anthrophosophical clinic where Margit was treated using a holistic approach to address the root cause of her illness.

At the time he was trying to explain to me that there had to be an underlying emotional reason for the Leukemia to occur in the first place. I was very sceptical at the time, believing taking Margit out of hospital was a death sentence.

Today they are happily married with a healthy son. Markus was the one who opened me up to a lot of mind/body/spirit knowledge, giving me precious advice, which finally convinced me that some form of toxic memory or trauma must have created this tumour within my dad’s body.

I wish to point out that everything in relation to my dad’s cancer is based on our direct experience with the situation we were faced with.

No chemo or radiotherapy treatment was applied in his case. This does not mean that the way my dad’s illness was approached is the only way.  Every case is different and it is up to the individual what kind of treatment they wish to opt for. I can’t express enough how important it is to be well informed, make it part of your general knowledge to know what is out there when it comes to reach ultimate emotional health and optimum life vitality to keep your bodies healthy. Unfortunately the majority of people seem to know an awful lot about outside appearances and focus solely on a superficial body image.

Understanding the importance of harmonising the spirit/soul and body is still in its infant shoes. True beauty comes from within by addressing suppressed unhealthy emotions to enable the authentic self to shine. Completion of unfinished business, forgiveness, letting go of what can not be changed anymore, is our freedom pass towards our God given health.

In case you find yourself or a loved one faced with a severe illness, search for capacities in the medical field, be it conventional  and/or complimentary. Decide to be guided with what feels right for you in your heart and if you are unsure and want to try out something like chemotherapy then this is your choice. You also have the choice to change your treatment whenever you feel its the right thing to do, after consulting a qualified open minded doctor.

In whatever you choose please know that it is always important to have a voice in your own healing journey too, take part in it alongside a healthy portion of self-responsibility and find the root cause of your illness. Your body is crying out for you to address an issue and an illness is the perfect time for healing.

I wish you all the luck in the world on your path to a healthy body!

Often in life we are faced with challenges, some of them so big that we find it incredibly hard to deal with. Some of them were chosen before birth in accordance with our guides to give us great possibilities in growth for our evolution; our Soul’s and Higher Self’s natural desire. Those challenges can be unfinished businesses from past lives or karmic lessons and by bringing them up in this life we have a chance to deal with them thoroughly, let go of the negative and keep the valuable lessons.

The ultimate goal of the global divine consciousness is to come to a place of complete forgiveness, meaning forgiveness of the self and others. In all areas of our lives we always have a choice. We can come to earth with the most refined intentions but sometimes, when we get caught up in the earthly chaos, the ego’s weakness acts as a block filled with excuses as to why and how we are unable to overcome these challenges. We need to activate our spirit to break through protective and yet artificially created barriers of an illusionary mindset.

Otherwise our soul remains tucked away, like a child who is desperately trying to get a word into a hefty discussion between adults. Instead of listening to it attentively, it remains unheard and ignored.

We have at all times the choice to listen to the tiniest whisper of our soul, our true spirit, to keep the thought of self growth, based on inner joy, love and happiness, alive. That thought is like a flicker of light, reminding us that improvement is available to us. Strength will come as we keep going.

Strength and forgiveness is fueled once we begin to understand circumstances and situations, those connections in our lives. The moment we look into this, we break down self-limiting walls of a false identity, we raise our awareness, we find our purpose; it is the start of laying the ground stones of a solid foundation in reconnecting with our true selves. The higher aspect of this is realignment  with our spirit connection, one which is so important to create a meaningful life; a re-activation of our divine sacred DNA.

Some challenges can come from a negative belief system/vows or can also be created by unfortunate interference of different energies, acting from destructive behaviour to stop us from our evolvement. This often gives us the feeling of ‘taking 1 step forward, 2 steps back’, leading to frustration of being ‘stuck’.

The background reasons for challenges are – at the time of going through them – not  always clear as to where they are originating from.

As we move out of an old lower consciousness onto the next level, we will be able to tell the difference. Patience, determination and persistence is required, mixed with will power and strength. By  focusing on improvements for the highest good of all and to the best of our abilities, everyone of us has the chance ‘to make it’. Look at yourself as you look at others.

At all times it is important that we keep ourselves protected from those who are still stuck in their unresolved negative energy patterns and whose intent is not to support us but rather to pull us back down. There can be a number of reasons for this, one is a lack to take self-responsibility. Certain individuals will therefore attempt to attach themselves and drain the ones willing to make positive life changes in their attempt to create better conditions for themselves, their loved ones and ultimately for the world.

The Universe is always at hand to support and bring us what we need, its up to us whether we take it or leave it. Essential tools and pathways will be shown and brought to us, able to assist enormously during hard times.

In this blog I will be writing about a few challenging situations brought into my life and that of loved ones or people close to me. Here I will share discoveries made over the years.

By reading these pages you will hopefully find plenty of insights, applicable for your own  individual situations. You will find out how we moved out of dire situations, how lessons learnt were applied to allow growth to take place. 

You already know that we are all connected. Each time you solve an issue, you add to your strengths by replacing resentment, fear and anger with forgiveness and love. From there you are able to create a healthy platform for yourself and others and by doing so are building a healing network of interconnectedness.

Sometimes we have become so disillusioned by disappointments, that we end up thinking we can do it all alone. The nature of our existence is to collaborate as best as possible.

Of course there will be situations where we are on our own. They give us a different kind of strength, based on healthy self-beliefs, we can manage moments of crises; moments where we feel almost abandoned. Use that phase also for self-reflection.

More and more people will be attracted into our lives that will support and enhance us just as we can do the very same thing to them.

It is the beginning of a healthier world, a world where we create together instead of keep destroying the gifts we were given!